


Choking on Heart

by beililee (sapphoatsunset)



Category: Super Junior, Super Junior-M
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-01
Updated: 2008-05-01
Packaged: 2017-11-23 04:18:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/617992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphoatsunset/pseuds/beililee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Prompt:</b> HENRY ♥ + <span class="ljuser i-ljuser"></span><a href="http://shindong-weekly.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://shindong-weekly.livejournal.com/"></a><b>shindong_weekly</b>  prompt: Asphyxiation (but I am so going anti-smut with the fetish word! ^^ lol)<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Choking on Heart

Shindong didn’t know what it was about the youngest addition that made his heart flutter like a million crazed butterflies, and his heart rise in his throat, effectively closing off his airway. But he did know for a fact that Henry was the cause. He hadn’t felt this way before Henry, before that day when Henry arrived at the dorm, suitcase in one hand, violin case in the other, a nervous grin shining from cheek to cheek.

In fact, his life was divided into two halves now: before Henry, and with Henry.

Before Henry, he hadn’t even realized that something was missing, hadn’t known that love and desire could intertwine so painfully. Hadn’t known that nerves actually existed to such an extent within himself, and that they could be so debilitating.

With Henry, he learned all this and more. More like how someone’s smile can spread warmth through him, all the way to his toes, and how every smile given to someone else pricks the heart even while it makes him smile as return. The conflicting reactions are hell, he thinks.

It was the heart that got to him, the way it snuck up and gripped its hands around his throat, dying fish parodies becoming the flavor of the week for Shindong’s actions in response to the youngest. He knew from the way Henry started ignoring him after a time, quiet acceptance of a situation that he could not change, much like his acceptance of the hatred in general, that he was confusing and hurting him terribly, but how was he to force the words past the chokehold his heart had on his vocal chords? How?

He tried, awkwardly, to talk to the other, realizing that it wasn’t so difficult if he couldn’t see him, but the only reaction he got was the dejected and sarcastic muttering of “if it disgusts you that much to look at me, if you really hate me that much, please don’t strain yourself” as Henry flew down the hallway and around the corner to the bathroom, a solid refuge for those who Tears visits often.

So, he practiced in the mirror, looking at his reflection and imagining Henry’s rice cake cheeks, saying, “it’s not that I hate you Henry. It’s the opposite. I love you” before breaking down In tears, Tears his sometimes companion as well, knowing that he would probably never get over the lump in his throat that was choking his love beyond the bounds of safety, straight into the deceptively caring arms of death.

Before his love could fully die, however, something happened that eased the grasp on his throat.

He was there again, desperately practicing in front of the mirror, Henry’s image shining angelically before his eyes, as the words of love spilled from his lips once more when a voice interrupted him. This time the image was real.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Henry’s eyes were confused, and threatening to burst with joy, contradictory though that seemed to Shindong.

“Because… becauseIwasscaredyouwouldn’tlikeme.” Shindong said it on a rush of breathe, head hanging as a blush colored his cheeks.

“What?”

Shindong sighed, embarrassed of his insecurity around the younger man. “I was scared that you wouldn’t like me.”

“Paboa! Silly goose! How could I not?” Henry’s eyes lit up with the love he had hidden for so long as he embraced the elder, kissing him softly as a new phase began. Actually with Henry.


End file.
